This Unquiet Mind

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Musings and Memoir

A collection of 32 posts

Climbing the Walls

It’s January in Oregon, and raining relentlessly. The Christmas decorations are gone, the tree and its ornaments boxed and in the attic. At this writing, my son is under the weather with a cough that won’t seem to abate, partly because he is asthmatic. We are treating the

The Year in Binges

2025 was a year of emotional streaming and emotional eating. My husband and I are both despondent and outraged over what’s been happening to our country, which may be one reason why he always comes back from the grocery store with cartons of ice cream. We snack a lot

Be Seen, Be Heard

I’ve been teaching myself piano for three years, and I’ve noticed something about the way I play. My fingers tend to approach the keys from an oblique angle, almost coming at them from the side rather than from above. They do not land with confidence; they approach timidly,

Merry Christmas from the Midcentury

Long after I stopped believing in Santa, but was still a kid, there was a magical visitor to my suburban neighborhood that I looked forward to every Christmas. It was a caroling wagon: some kind of motorized vehicle, blurry in my memory, that was draped with lights and ridden by

No Monkeys. Still a Circus.

I’m on a videoconference call at work when my cat suddenly jumps onto my desk, entering the frame seemingly from nowhere, superimposing his head or tail onto the graphic background I use to shield my drab office space from view. He startles me, because I sit with my back

Second Acts

I wouldn’t mind being Ina Garten in my next life—a queen of simple, delicious cooking and entertaining whom Tina Fey suspects is only a figment of middle-aged women’s collective imagination. I’ve watched Ina’s cooking shows for years and just finished reading her memoir. She’

At the River

I went to the river alone. I’d asked my kid if he wanted to come with, and he didn’t, which might have been the best outcome that day. I needed quiet. It was a short drive from my house, and a short walk out of the parking lot

Letter to a Tree

Letter to a tree at Sue-meg State Park, Trinidad, CA: I apologize that I’m not sure what kind of tree you are, although I studied many of your brethren in college forestry and botany classes. You remind me of a cypress. You sat, and presumably still reside, near

My Tendency to Clam Up

About half the time I go shopping at my local supermarket, a big chain, there are AT&T salespeople posted near the exit. They are usually young, good-looking guys, clearly torn between accosting people to make a commission and hanging around looking at their phones. They usually make

Community

I’m fortunate enough to have friends who treat me like family, no matter how much time passes between our seeing each other. They are people I can comfortably reveal myself to, and people whom I trust to take care of my kid. Trouble is, most of them live an